Spiders
by WolverinesDarlin
Summary: Everybody has fears, even the big bad Shepard; Survivor of Akuze, First Human Spectre, Savior of the Citadel is afraid of... an insect... arachnid...? Whatever... you get the idea. Maybe a little OOC, depends on how you look at it.


_Oh the loveliness of spiders and conversations with friends._

_I hate spiders._

_And I don't own Mass Effect_

**MASSEFFECT**

Shepard smiled and typed out a reply to her friends Instant Message.

She and her friend Lauren have recently reconnected since her death. Lauren was ger best friend while she was living in the slums of Earth running around with Gangs and stuff. She was the only she kept up with.

She smiled at the response her friend sent her and was about to reply when a spider dashed along side her keyboard.

"HOLY SHIT!" She pushed off in her wheely swivel chair and wheeled a good two feet away from her private terminal.

She stared at her keyboard and waited for the spider to reappear and when it didn't she huffed. She didn't like not being able to see her enemies. She looked around her room to see her cat Scoundrel staring at her.

"What? Spiders are evil." She told her cat who seemed to almost shrug as it sat down and licked at his left paw.

Her PT beeped telling her Lauren I. her "Damn." She squinted her eyes to see the message.

"Lauren: Hello?"

"Damn." she repeated and grabbed a hair stick from her bathroom and scooted up close enough to the terminal so that she could type the letters out with the stick but far enough so that the spider couldn't reach her.

"Me: spider next to keyboard. using stick to type." She sent to Lauren.

"Lauren: What? You have a spider in your room?" Lauren shared the same fear.

"Me: yes"

"Lauren: Get it! Kill it! Smoosh it!"

"Me: cant see it"

"Lauren: Damn girl. You are making me nervous now… well… FIND IT!"

"Me: sorry" Shepard looked around for a tissue or anything she could smooth the retched thing with before it came back out and attacked her.

"Lauren: Did you find it yet?" Her terminal beeped.

"Me: no" Then Shepard squealed again and scooted back even further from the terminal as it came back into view and actually sat on the keyboard, facing her; watching her.

Shepard ran to the elevator that was waiting for her when she exited her room.

As the cab made its slow descent down to the mess hall she tapped her foot impatiently. "We really need to change the music selection." She mumbled, annoyed with the current elevator music, which was random techno.

The doors dinged open and she darted out, heading for the Main Battery.

"Garrus!"

"Shepard, what is it?"

"I need you to come here."

"Can it wait? I'm in the middle of some calibrations."

"No it can't! It's an emergency!" She grabbed his arm, pulling him to the elevator and up to her Cabin.

"Kill it!" She shouted.

"Kill what, Shepard?" Garrus looked around hr room looking for a threat, only seeing Scoundrel.

"That!" She was hiding behind Garrus and pointed to the enemy that was now on top of her desk rather than on her keyboard.

Garrus squinted and looked to where she was pointing, stepping forward to get a better look at it.

Shepard stayed in front of the bedroom door, observing from a distance. "That?" He asked amused.

Shepard nodded her head up and down numbly.

"That!" Garrus pointed at the little spider. "That is your emergency? What you are so afraid of?"

Shepard crossed her arms and cocked her head at him. "Yes" She squinted her eyes at him, "That a problem?"

"No not at all."

"Good. Now… KILL IT!"

Her terminal beeped again, telling her Lauren was still trying to get a hold of her.

"Times-a-wastin'…." She looked down at her imaginary watch, when Garrus just stared at her.

"Alright fine." Garrus shrugged and used a single finger to smoosh the tiny, freaky bug into the desk.

"Thank you." She smiled at him and half skipped to her chair and pulled it back up to her desk, using a tissue to wipe up the spider guts and its corpse.

"Me: Back." She read over the messages she had missed while she had been gone and smiled.

"Lauren: Yay! Is it dead?"

"Me: uh huh! Garrus got it."

"Lauren: Aawww, your little Archangel came to rescue you!" Shepards eyes widen as she minimized the chat box and turned to see a very amused Garrus looking over her shoulder.

"Who's Lauren?" Garrus asked, standing up straight and crossing his arms, Shepard turning in her chair to face him.

"A friend from earth." She said quickly. "Thank you for your assistance. You are dismissed." She waved her hand around.

"Alright. One question though."

Shepard crossed her arms and sighed. "What?"

"How is it you can face a Reaper… geth… death… and collectors… but a small insect sends you running and hiding?"

"Shut up! Spiders are creepy!"

"Oh yeah, they are." Garrus agreed sarcastically.

"Just… you're dismissed."

"Alright alright, I get it." Garrus held up his hands in defeat.

"Good." Shepard said.

Garrus' mandibles flared in amusement as he left the room but came back and popped his head in. "We're still on for tonight right?"

"Yes yes… now shoo!" Shepard sighed as he finally left and turned back to her terminal.

"Me: Sorry Garrus wanted to talk to me…" She explained to Lauren why she hadn't been responding for a bit.

"Lauren: No problem."

"Me: Now where were we?"

"You were telling me about when Garrus found Scoundrel…."

"Me: Right… so there he was, this huge tough turian holding this tiny kitten in his hands, he looked so awkward it was adorable…."

**MASSEFFECT**

_I know it was really short, but I thought it would be a good change from my current depressing story._

_Hope you enjoyed it. _

_Please review_


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